considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
