All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
