Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
