everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
