Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
