and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
