I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
