Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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