Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
