I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
