Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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