Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
