Someone shit on the floor
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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