You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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