You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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