I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
