sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
