its not stalking. its research.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
