I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
