worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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