he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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