Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
