Just cropdusted the office
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
