I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
do nipples grow back?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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