i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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