Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
