on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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