Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
