I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
