The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
