if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
