Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
