i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
