Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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