im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
