remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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