it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
