it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
