I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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