Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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