If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In other news, I just burned my penis
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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