Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
