I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
