We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We're too hungover to prance.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
