and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
