oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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