Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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