I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
