I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
