Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
