That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
