i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
